The Shadows In Our Consciousness


Well, it has been months since I have written on this blog. Various life considerations, including work responsibilities, and other generally unremarkable excuses, have managed to impede my forward progress in terms of the maintenance of this blog. Nonetheless, I have tried to remain undaunted in my goal of posting at least 1 to 2 images per day on Instagram. So, to those of you who manage to click on my weblink and visit this establishment from time to time, thank you immensely for the continued support!

When I think about artistic pursuits, and the desire to refine my aesthetic vision, I find myself often thinking about what stands in front of me. Obstacles. Impediments. Perhaps those same intangible roadblocks that I mentioned above, when discussing my hiatus from this site. When I pause to reflect on a photograph, or conceive a shot, or sit to write, I’m often flooded by thoughts of the numerous things that prevent me from breathing and expressing myself fully. So many reasons why things can be difficult. For me, though, that tension serves as a kind of fuel. It keeps me motivated—to not only appreciate the difficulties in life, but to find ways to transform them into something useable and constructive going forward.

Let there be no mistake: I spend no less than 10-11 hours per day grinding in a law office. Responding to requests, drafting briefs, meeting and conferring with attorneys, navigating (i.e., attempting to avoid) arguments with practitioners, and churning my brain on often convoluted questions of statutory interpretation. It gets tiring, indeed. And it probably sounds tiring, too! But when I think about all of the issues that I confront in my daily work environment, and then mix in the obvious complexities involved in raising young children and having virtually no rest, it only serves to underscore the intense focus needed to express myself in highly constricted intervals. Perhaps an analogy exists here. For as many parts and ounces of stress that seem to be bear down upon me, are as many parts of something in the form of desire and passion, to eviscerate them. Equal and opposite forces, really, operating in conjunction to inexorably defeat themselves; or perhaps to maintain themselves, until inevitable expiration.

I am now a 13 year attorney, and I wonder how I got to this point; how I endured the years; how I managed to function in an environment defined, almost entirely, by stress and deadline management. And then, I look at the plethora of photographs I have taken, or the amount of sonnets I have drafted, and I say to myself: this is all in its right place. Everything is okay. Odd as it may be. Twisted as it may feel. This is all perhaps necessary. Without one, I do not have the other.

The point of this passage is perhaps undefined, elusive, and unclear. And that’s okay, too. I’m expressing what I feel, and what I am encountering to the best degree possible, with whatever little window of time exists. I can only hope that in some small form, I am able to purge the difficulties of my life in whatever syllables I am able to utter.

The photograph depicted in this post is from the Santa Monica pier. It was taken in Fall of 2015. It was rotated for effect, to highlight the shadowy figure, as opposed to the shore break. I felt that the dramatic nucleus of this image was the obscured form of the boy, approaching the ocean’s threshold. Nothing else. It reminds me of the potential we bear—the rush of the unknown—along with the shadows from our consciousness that impede us from moving forward.

Happy 2016, to any and all who read this. With love.


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